No Regrets (Ok, That’s a Lie)
“I’m sure you’ve been in some scary situations when you’ve traveled. Even been made uncomfortable. Travel can’t be all rainbows and sunshine, right? Haven’t you regretted going to some of the places you’ve been?”
This is what my grandmother’s very inquisitive friend asked me a few weeks ago as I was visiting her assisted living facility.
How did we get to this point? Well, you see, my grandma is 95 years old and a social butterfly. And every time I visit, she introduces me to a new friend. But this time was different. This time I had just gotten back from Antarctica. So this time she stopped every person she saw and introduced me by saying, “This is my granddaughter who just got back from Antarctica. Isn’t that neat?”. (OMG, swoon).
Most people nodded along. Some people were surprised that you could actually go to Antarctica. But one woman in particular had a lot of questions. Not so much about Antarctica, but mainly about fears and regrets about traveling. This seemed odd. But, to be fair, yes, I have been in some scary situations while traveling. Yes, I’ve for sure been made uncomfortable. And yes, I guess travel isn’t always rainbows and sunshine (here’s looking at you jet lag and flight cancelations). But I was thrown by her question on regret. It was never something that had crossed my mind.
So I quickly scanned through some of my more unsavory travel experiences: when I was very embarrassingly scammed out of $250 in Shanghai, when I was consistently stared and gawked at in Mumbai, when I was pick pocketed in Beijing…by a 5 year old, and when I was briefly worried that my parents had been kidnapped in Quito (luckily, it was just a silly miscommunication).
But the answer couldn’t possibly be anything other than “No way”.
Why would I think about being scammed in Shanghai when what I remember most is the first time I walked along the famous Bund? Why would I give a second thought to the gawking in Mumbai when I was also amazingly invited to be an honored guest at a local cricket match? And why oh why would I care that a needy five year old pick pocketed me for $100 when I had just climbed the Great Wall of China?
So the answer was clear. No. I absolutely do not and could not regret going to a single place I’ve been. Each place has helped me grow, become more savvy, become more empathetic and become a better person.
Ah, it all seemed so poetic.
But wait, what also became clear is that I did, in fact, have some other types of travel regrets. Ones that only rose to the surface after sitting on it for a bit. Dammit. Regrets like:
- Constantly working while I was on vacation in London. Wasn’t the Tate Modern amazing? Nah, just a blur of shapes and whatever other reflections I could see off of my phone.
- Buying that effing Crate & Barrel couch for $4000 that I “just had to have” instead of spending that money on a trip to Iceland or Switzerland or Brazil or anywhere… The couch is uncomfortable by the way. I’d rather have a bean bag chair and memories from one of those countries.
- Not going sledging in New Zealand. You know, sledging? Basically, white water rafting without the raft? I had it all scheduled, but the weather was bad. I likely could have pushed to do it, but I chickened out. Lame.
- Not planning anything over Memorial Day or Labor Day weekends. I get 4 days off each. 4 days! Do you know where you can get to in 4 days? Yet I have two long weekends in recent memory where I basically only binge watched TV and barely even changed my clothes. Yes, sometimes that’s needed. But it’s definitely not needed more than a weekend getaway.
- Not saving enough money. I eat out for lunch almost every weekday. That’s $200 per month or $1200 just on lunches. If I could get my act together, I could go on a whole other trip by just making my own damn lunch. Blargh.
- And the list goes on…
Well, it turns out that I do have travel regrets. I regret the places I haven’t yet been able to go, not the places I have already been. And all I can do is try to shrink that list by spending less time and money on the things that pull me away from travel and spending more on the things that lead me to it. It won’t be perfect. It will be uncomfortable. But it will also be a wonderful experience that will continue to shape who I am.
As I left my grandma that day, she said “Honey, you’re living the life I should have led. I’m seeing the world through your eyes.” Well, Grams, I hope to show you as much as possible of it. And to live a life of few regrets.
